The Cross (That Saved Me)

I was there on that fateful Good Friday because you were
carrying me in your heart. You loved me then as you love me
now. You made a pact with God the Father. You agreed to pay
for my sins by shedding your own blood.

When you were praying in the garden of Gethsemane, I should
have been there for you. But like Peter, James, and John, I
slumbered and fell asleep. Oblivious to the darkness that was
about to befall you.

I stood by, shocked and powerless. I distanced myself, unaware
of the events about to unfold as Judas betrayed you. It was going
to lead you to the cross, but I didn’t know it then.

I cowered away from the crowd and denied knowing you three
times, just as Peter did. I broke my promise, but you kept your
word, both to me and to the Father.

You remained silent when Pontius Pilate repeated all the
accusations against you. Could they not see the love that burned
from within you? Why did I not speak up and tell the world of
such love?

I listened to the crowd as they chanted to save a murderer and to
crucify the Prince of Peace. A tune so different from the one they
had sung before when they sang, “Blessed is He who comes in
the name of the Lord.” I hung my head in shame.

When the soldiers tossed your clothes, mocking and scorning
your name, I didn’t remind them that you were innocent. I closed
my mouth and did not tell them that you were without sin.

On the way to the cross, I walked with you. Dejected and silent.
Too scared to remind the crowd that you had healed the sick,
freed the prisoners, made the blind see, the crippled walk, and
performed all of your good deeds.

I felt it in my bones when the nails pierced your flesh and bones,
and as the spear pierced your side. I should have cried to the
Father, our God, to make it stop, but I failed you.

I was sorrowful and ashamed of myself for letting you down
when darkness fell, and you cried out, “Eloi, Eloi, lama
sabachthani.” I fell on my knees and cried.

I was alone. Numbed and in pain that day you lay in the tomb.
My life flashed before me. My sins lay heavily on my shoulders.
It was because of them that you had died the most cruel and
horrific death.

But you rose up in Glory. Conquered sin and death, and all its
darkness.
Your resurrection has cleansed me and cleared me of all my sins.
It is because of you that I am free and walk in the light of the
Father.