IMMORTAL

My heart was heavy. Deep down I was crying, but I couldn’t
shed a tear. I was bereft of any feeling.
Though still breathing, I was lifeless inside. I had no energy
to go on or function as normal.
I, who was still alive, had been rendered inane and unable by the
devastation and loss of him whom I loved.
The pain was at the core of everything that was true and real. It was at the centre of my universe.

It is a fact of life; we all shall die, but one that is difficult to bear
when it comes close to home.
It is always difficult to comprehend that what is left of our loved
one is a symbol of the cross on a mountain of dirt.
Acceptance not denial, is recommended in such cases, so that
we would be able to plod through and continue with our lives.
As true as this may be, it is something that is not easy to grasp
when death has sunk its claws deep into the flesh.

“Let the dead bury their dead” does not bring comfort but may
even raise questions about our own mortality.
It was in burying my father that the life we had shared seemed
flimsy and of no consequence.
Where was its value when, at that very moment, I felt empty and
had nothing to hold onto?
Life, regardless of whether fully lived or not, could not be truly
assured nor guaranteed.

Thoughts of my father pervaded my inner being. The images
looming in my mind were larger than life.
His words, booming in my ears, were that nothing could ever
interfere with the timeless bond nor diminish the memories of a
lifetime.
In that instance, I knew that it was not only his personality that
still lingered but, the words of wisdom imparted with love as
well.
To me, he was a friend and mentor and would always be for as
long as I live.

His words and embrace will always fill my days and will be at
‘my beck and call’.
Death, with all its devastation, could never be able to access what
lay in the crevice of my soul nor the love that dwells within my
heart.
Then comes the realisation of the things that we should have
been aware of all along.
That we are far greater than any effects that may be presented
through death.

That though death devours the body and erases the present and
the future, it never diminish what was once alive but magnifies
its purity.
That death is not the end nor the conclusion of who we were or
what we achieved, but rekindles reminiscence.
That though lifeless our bodies may be, we would continue to
exist in the minds of our loved ones.
That we would continue to bring smiles and laughter to
generations of them to whom we matter.